Be Happy - 3 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Apr 27, 2015 by Reen Rose


We have been conditioned by society to compare ourselves to others. In school, we judge how good our marks are by looking at the class average. Awards are given to those who do the best, so the fact that you got 99.8% may pale if someone else got 99.9%.

Research has found that comparing yourself to people who appear to be more fortunate than you may be affecting your happiness in a negative way. Often you make assumptions about these people; they may not be as successful or as happy as you perceive them to be. Comparing yourself to others who appear to be better off is called an upward comparison.

Upward comparisons can make you feel dissatisfied with what you have. The happiest people rely on their own internal standards to judge how successful they are. Here are three strategies to help you stop comparing yourself to the Jones’.

1. Be positive about yourself not negative about others! Most professional athletes want to win because they are the best, not because their competition was terrible. Don’t worry that the people around you seem to be attaining more than you, be confident in the knowledge that with hard work and patience, your time will come.

2. Know where you want to end up and make choices that will get you there; if you can help others on the way, then so much the better.

3. When you start to make toxic upward comparisons, distract yourself by concentrating on your own values and focusing on the journey you are taking, rather than the end result.